There's something about men's humor that hits differently. You know what we mean, right? Men don't view or experience things the same way as women, and that can sometimes make life even funnier. From jokes you don't want the kids hearing to unexpected problems with their anatomy, these relatable dudes are getting real about what it's like to be a man. So, keep scrolling if you're ready for a good laugh (and a peek into a modern guy's head).
The Flashing Light of Doom
Let's be honest; life is tough out here for dudes. And just as you think you've got things handled when you've paid your rent on time, you've completed work deadlines, and you've managed to win over a chick you really like, something always happens. Most of the time, that "something" involves flashing lights on your car, an engine that won't start, and a mechanic who wants to charge you more than you have in your bank account.
Car problems are the bane of our existence, but at least we can laugh about it, right? If we don't laugh, we'll cry, and that's why men's humor is the best.
Hmmm, Smells Suspicious
If we're being totally honest, it seems like the male scent industry is run by women. After all, they get to smell like things they probably want to smell like, while us dudes have to settle for smelling like weird concepts. And we don't think we've ever woken up in the morning and thought, "You know what I really want to smell like? I want to smell like a cool sport rush!"
Why can't someone just make a deodorant that smells like cedarwood and the smell of a brand-new football? Those are some male scents we could really get behind. They'd make a fortune.
The Dream Vs. The Reality
For men, there's nothing more manly than being able to grow hair. If we could, we'd have a giant lumberjack beard that falls down to our knees, a Jesus-inspired head of hair, and a mustache that would make Johnny Depp jealous. But unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. Although it's easy to convince yourself that you're going to look rough and rugged with a bigger beard and a mustache, sometimes it just doesn't work.
Yes, only men will understand the struggle. You can try and rock a new beard style, but the reality might not be as you'd expect. And it might just make you sad.
Feeling the Pain
Have you ever been kicked in the nuts and then heard a distinct echo of sharp intakes of breath? Well, that's the sound of every single man within a 10-mile radius feeling the same pain that you're feeling. This experience is somewhat of a shared experience and one that produces phantom feelings of pain in those who don't even know you. Yes, this is something that only men will understand.
Women will never be able to relate to such an experience. And while we know they have to deal with menstrual cramps and childbirth, it just isn't the same. It's so much worse, right?
Totally New Information
When you're trying to impress the opposite sex, sometimes you have to embellish the details a little bit. You have to make yourself seem way cooler than you actually are, and you have to make yourself seem super interesting. And as our normal lives aren't exactly movie-worthy, it's pretty normal for men to tell a few white lies now and then - because being an accountant who lives with their parents isn't exactly very attractive, after all.
But while men know this to be true, that doesn't mean we're not surprised when our friend starts telling the girls at the bar that he's a CIA agent on a mission to save the world.
A True Talent
Only men will understand this impressive talent. No, women just don't get it. Instead, they just want to tear us down for getting a little bit of pee on the seat! But while we could turn the light on in the middle of the night, they'd probably yell at us for doing that and waking them up, too. So, that's why you might as well have some fun and test your talent out instead.
Next time you wake up in the middle of the night, use your superhuman senses to use the sound of the pee splashing to get perfect aim. You might just surprise yourself.
Only men will relate to this one. And while we appreciate the fact that this meme is the peak of men's humor, we can't deny that this one hurts a little, too. Why can't we keep a few secrets from the rest of the world? We know that anytime we get out of the pool, our swim trucks are going to reveal everything the world needs to know about us. And it's pretty awkward.
If you're the kind of man who gets embarrassed when this happens, you're not alone. If you don't get embarrassed and welcome this attention, then well done you. You definitely won the genetic lottery.
A Bad Influence
There are three kinds of men in this world: those who were only children, those who were the big brother, and those who were the younger brother. And it's fair to say that only those who have been big brother will understand what all of the fuss is about. After all, there's something so fun and exciting about having someone to both look after and someone to corrupt at the same time.
Of course, our moms always used to tell us to take our little brother with us whenever we left the house. And she had no idea that was the worst decision she could have made.
While it's never a good idea to worry too much about the future, only men will understand this particular worry. Sure, we know we need to have our first prostate exam when we're 50 years old, and we know that it's in our best interests to keep the appointment and check up on our health. But that doesn't make the idea of what happens during this examination any less intimidating.
You've got to admit this is peak men's humor, though, right? Even if we're worried about something, you can bet your bottom dollar that we're going to be making a joke about it. Jokes make everything better.
Missed the Growth Spurt
When you were a teenager, your friends probably went through a growth spurt. They came back to school after the summer, and they were suddenly 2-feet taller with muscles they had never had before. And while that was good for them and all, what happened to you? No matter how many times your doctor told you that you were going to have this growth spurt, you might still be waiting for it to happen.
Only men under 6 feet will understand this one. And while you can still hold out hope that you're suddenly going to grow overnight, you might want to let that dream die.
We're not saying that compliments don't exist anymore. Of course, we know they do. But compliments just aren't the same as they once were. In today's day and age, dudes are called "fit" or "hot," and they just don't hit the same as "handsome." That's the compliment that will send us over the edge and make us blush for half an hour straight. The problem, though? Our moms are the only ones who call us handsome.
So, if there are any women reading this, take this as our official petition to put the word "handsome" back on the compliments list. And if you call us handsome, we'll love you forever.
The Perfect Rule
The pandemic brought a lot of confusion and chaos to the world. In order to create calm out of that chaos, numerous rules were put in place. The best one? Having to stand six feet apart from strangers! And while both men and women were happy to keep their distance from people they'd never met before, only men will understand just how perfect this rule was, especially in public restrooms.
There's nothing worse than having to stand in touching distance to a stranger while he's peeing, and we can say with 100% confidence that we really do miss this Covid rule. Let's bring it back.
Ready in Seconds
Although there's no doubt about the fact that we'd love to trade places with a woman for just one day to see what all the fuss is about, we don't think we'd like to be a woman all the time. It seems like a lot of work - especially as women have to fuss with their hair and their makeup before they can even set foot outside. We dudes have got it easy, really.
All we have to do is make sure that our privates are safely stowed in our underwear, and we can be out of the house in seconds! That means extra sleep time, too.
Have you ever heard of the RBF? Well, if you're a dude who is apparently "oblivious" to a woman's flirting, there's a high chance that you've been met with an RBF on many occasions. The "R" stands for "resting," the "B" stands for an expletive, and "F" stands for "face" - and it looks a little like this! Yes, singer Billie Eilish has the ultimate RBF. And it looks like she wants to kill you.
But it turns out that the RBF isn't always what it looks like. Apparently, that's just the way women look sometimes, no matter whether they want to kill you or kiss you. But how are we supposed to figure it out?
Being a man is weird, you know? On the one hand, we're taught to be strong and capable. But on the other hand, we're criticized for being emotionless. Yes, we're forced to stay in our lane at all times, even when we have the urge to open up and talk to someone about how we feel. And let's have a show of hands of how many men have been told to "man up" when talking about their emotions.
We're going to assume that many of you have experienced this over the years. We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't. So, you might as well do what you want, anyway.
What Takes so Long?
If you've ever been around a woman, you'll know that they can take hours to get ready. You could just be going to the movies, but they'll still want to spend three hours washing their hair, plucking their eyebrows, and perfecting their makeup - even though you're going to be sitting in the dark. But another thing we don't understand about women is that baths make them look totally different.
While dudes normally look more put together after they've had a bath, women look more stripped back and natural. And, actually, most men seem to like them more that way.
A Traumatic Experience
This is the kind of men's humor that's so true, it hurts. In fact, it's almost traumatic, and anyone who has experienced this before will know that this situation will send shivers down your spine. After all, we thought the toilet was our safe space. It's where we can sit down after a hard day's work, it's where we can get a moment's peace from our family, and it's where we can catch up on our sports news.
But, every so often, something happens that ruins the magic. And when your privates touch the inside of the toilet bowl, we want to shrivel up inside of ourselves and not come out for two hours.
Taking in the Sights
If you're in a relationship, it's important to go on dates with your other half. Not only does this keep the magic alive, but it also gives you the chance to experience new things. But if you decide to go to a museum or an art gallery, you might want to be on your best behavior. And while you know exactly what you want to see from the statues and the art galleries, you should probably keep that to yourself.
This meme sums up what we dudes want to see when we visit those places, and we probably don't need to tell you that men's humor doesn't get much better than this.
Although we dudes are pretty clued up on technology, we still appreciate a little bit of advice from women - especially when it comes to playing the dating game. While there are many men out there who happily use their Android phones on a daily basis, it seems as though women have a stigma against men who use these phones. And that can make or break a potential relationship.
So, this is the ultimate tip for men. If you have an Android phone, keep it a secret for a little while. We don't think we'll ever understand why, but women don't seem to like them.
The Best Day Ever
You probably don't need us to tell you that having a girlfriend is the best thing in the world. The fact that a girl is willing to accept your weirdness and date you exclusively is an unexpected turn of events that we can definitely get behind, especially when she starts getting more comfortable around you! And the eventual game of strip poker - without the poker - is something that most men will never get over.
We've all felt like the red guy at the bottom, right? You know, where your head feels like it's going to explode? There's something about those socks, dude. Only men will understand what we're talking about.
Time to Let It Out
Men are encouraged to keep their emotions to themselves, and crying is considered to be a sign of weakness. But we're here to tell you that it's not a sign of weakness at all - it's a sign of strength! And instead of surrounding yourself with people who tear you down for crying, you should surround yourself with people who encourage you to show and feel your emotions. Never settle, dudes.
If you find a girlfriend who will quite literally give you a shoulder to cry on, we're here to tell you that you need to keep that woman close. She's a keeper.
The Morning Struggle
For men, this is the ultimate struggle. You know what we're talking about, right? When women wake up in the morning and need to use the bathroom, they can do their business without struggling at all. It just happens naturally. But the same can't be said for men, especially if you've woken up in a good mood. Suddenly, your morning pee becomes a military mission that's sometimes impossible to complete.
This hilarious meme sums up men's humor in one picture, and as much as it pains us, it's so true. And it doesn't seem to be getting any better the older we get, either.
The Perfect Planner
When women are looking for a life partner, they look for a few different things. They look for an emotional connection, they look for shared interests, they look for compassion, and they might even look for a man who can plan ahead and be prepared. And while we have to agree that this is an incredibly desirable quality, we have a feeling that this isn't exactly what women want when they say that.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with drinking pineapple juice because you love the taste. But if you've done it for this reason, maybe keep that to yourself. Otherwise, she might run.
Dudes, we probably don't need to tell you that women are enigmas. Just when you think you've figured them out, they throw a curveball that leaves you confused once more. But one thing we do know for sure is that men and women are very different when it comes to grievances. When men rant about something, they require advice and guidance. When women rant about something, that's the last thing they want!
If you try and offer your wife help when she's ranting about something, you can bet your bottom dollar that she's going to give you the silent treatment afterwards. So, just listen and nod occasionally.
A Bold Decision
Although women get the short straw of having to carry a baby for nine months, men are still needed for the actual process of creating that life. You know what we mean, right? While men's talents are often used when couples are trying for a baby, they're also used when men have a quiet Sunday afternoon to themselves. And when that happens, you have to make a bold decision that could change the course of history.
Although you could choose to save your specimen in the hopes that your future child will become a doctor who saves millions of lives, you could also make life a bit tidier and throw the tissues in the toilet. So, what's your decision?
Time to Get Ghosted
Women are an enigma. Just as you think you're starting to understand them, they throw a curveball that completely messes up your mind and leaves you in the lurch. And that's why dating is such a health and safety risk. Women change their mind so quickly it leaves us with whiplash, and while one minute we're their favorite toy to play with, the next minute we're tossed into Andy's trunk.
As dudes, we're used to this random ghosting, but that doesn't mean that it hurts any less. What does it take to be the top toy on the shelf again?
Time to Defeat the Huns
Now, this is peak men's humor. While men are constantly hounded by the do's and the don'ts of the patriarchy, there are some men out there who have had enough. They're not longer going to listen to how they should feel, what they should say, and how they should think. They're not going to listen to anyone... apart from Mulan. She has a pet dragon, after all. And that's pretty cool.
So, it's time to get down to business and defeat the Huns once and for all, and we're inviting you all to join us on this journey of men's humor. Men only, we're afraid.
Dudes, you probably don't need us to tell you that pizza is the GOAT in the food world. The cheesy goodness is enough to put a smile on our faces for days, which is why it's important that our pizza is perfect every time. So, we don't really blame this guy for complaining when he received what he thought was just a pizza with no sauce, no toppings, and definitely no cheese.
A pizza isn't a pizza without the toppings, right? But this guy probably should have checked himself before he complained to this pizza giant. Especially as he wasn't exactly sober.
A Kiss a Day
You know what they say; a kiss a day keeps the blues away. And it's true! For men, trying to be the best version of themselves is a tough job that can take a real mental toll if you're not careful. And having supportive people around you - like your girlfriend - can make a real difference. Especially when they give you a kiss out of nowhere when you really need it.
Many women don't get how good a spontaneous kiss can feel and how it can perk up your mood instantly. But we all need a little boost every now and then, right?
Eating It up
Only men will get this one. Because we've all felt like Pikachu on multiple occasions, right? After all, men are supposed to be masculine beings who work hard, provide for their families, and act tough. But the reality is that we all have feelings and we all love affection - especially if that affection comes in the form of a compliment. There's nothing better than a compliment in our eyes.
There's something about being called "handsome" or a "gentleman" that really warms our hearts, and we're not afraid to admit it. Sometimes we just want to be more like Pikachu.
Only men will understand the inner turmoil you feel when you come across a woman who seems way too good to be true. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's effortlessly cool, and she just has so much going for her. And while we'd love to ask these women out on a date, that inner voice inside of us just tells us that it's not worth it. She won't go for a dude like us, would she?
While some men are able to win the battle with this inner voice, others just avoid women for the rest of time. And it's fair to say that it's pretty depressing.
A Natural Instinct
Despite what women thing, men don't take dates lightly. They're a big deal to us dudes, and we want them to go perfectly. But that also means that we get in our heads, and no matter how many times we tell ourselves to dress nicely, be polite, and have a normal conversation, something in our brain steps in and makes decisions for us. It's like a natural instinct - and it's not one we enjoy.
But this meme is proof that men's humor is superior. Sure, we hate when this happens, but it's better to laugh about the situation rather than stew over it for the next ten years.
We're not doubting that this meme makes sense. It makes total sense, and we all know that in order to get a girlfriend, we have to actually pluck up the courage to talk to girls. But dudes will know that it's not as easy as that. Sure, we know we just need to open our mouths and let words come out, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Sometimes word vomit come out, instead.
So, sometimes it's better to just say nothing at all. One day a girl will come along who falls in love with us based on our looks and our quiet silence, right?
If you've ever wondered why girls aren't flirting with you, it might be because you're totally clueless. In reality, they're probably flirting with you on a regular basis, but you're just too blind to see it. So, let's give you a test. What do you see when you read this text exchange? A simple conversation starter about the movie Home Alone? Or a conversation starter that could result in a date?
If you think it's answer number one, then you need to go back to school and pick up some flirting classes. And if a girl ever sends this to you, please don't reply with the name "Kevin McAllister."
What Happens Next?
Have you ever been in one of those situations where you suddenly get a burst of confidence and do something you would never normally do? Yep, sometimes the call of a cute girl is just too much for your brain to understand, and so it moves your body over to where she's standing and forces you to ask for her number. Of course, we'd never do that consciously. So, on the one hand, we thank our brain for that.
But on the other hand, us dudes are overthinkers. And although that cute girl may have willingly given us her number, our insecurities tell us that she thinks we're a loser and only gave her number out of pity.
A True Story
Thank goodness our school days are behind us, now. But we couldn't ignore this impressive piece of men's humor, could we? After all, it's a true story. When we studied for a test we felt as though we could take on the world. The information was soaking into our brain like a sponge, and most of the time we thought we could ace the test without even trying. Then, we sat in front of the test and it all changed.
Suddenly, words just didn't make sense, and we just couldn't form a sentence that answered any of the questions in front of us. It was a painful time of our lives.
Just Doesn't Make Sense
A big stereotype that men have to deal with is the idea that we're all good at strategy games. And while there are some men who are definitely some of the best in the business when it comes to these games, there are other men who just don't understand. Normally, those two groups are in the same friendship group! And this normally makes for some very confusing (and heated) conversations.
If you're like the cat above, then you're not alone. As long as you have some other skills to bring to the table, then you probably won't be banished from your friendship group.
The Wrong Message
We're going to go ahead and assume that a woman wrote this sign. Men's humor would never have allowed such a thing to go to the printers, as there's just way too much room for interpretation. And while we actually love the idea of hanging out with friends in our pajamas and eating ice cream, there's no doubt that this sign gives off the wrong impression. We wonder how many people went to 26 Lounge that night?
Actually, we bet the lounge was probably full of men in their pajamas. But they were probably a little shocked when the women came out with multiple pots of ice cream in their hands.
Thank You, Next
Women have a way of holding onto things, even when they were the ones who let them go in the first place. And if you have an ex in your life that likes to keep tabs on you even though she broke up with you years ago, you're not alone. These women like to pop up every now and then, intruding on your life and invading your brain just as you've forgotten about them.
But this is your sign to kick these women to the curb. Not literally, of course. Next time an ex pops up with questions about your love life, keep them on read. They don't need to know your secrets!
In the Friend Zone
Although the world seems to believe that men and women can be best friends, only men will know the true pain of having feelings for a female best friend. While girls seem to think that these friendships work out, dudes know otherwise. And that's why they end up in situations like this one, where they're struck in the friend zone, helping the love of their life find a new man to fall in love with.
Yes, this hurts like a mother and feels like a sucker punch to the gut. And while you know you should do something about it, you just let the tears fall instead.