This article was originally published on 24/7Mirror
Picking the perfect wedding dress is not an easy task, and it is such a personal choice, we wouldn't normally judge a bride for it - but these aren't normal circumstances. From wacky color schemes (think orange! black! foil!) to questionable materials (balloons! shredded paper! disposable cutlery!) to a very loose definition of what constitutes a dress, these brides were certainly willing to make an impression, even if not necessarily a good one.
They Have an Orange Crush on Each Other and It Shows
When we see a bride all ready for her big day, we normally think, "beautiful," "breathtaking," "blushing bride." But we look at this bride posing in her ombre orange dress and her bright orange veil, and a different set of words comes to mind. Suddenly, all we can think of is "Fanta," "Orange Crush," "Sunkist," "Orangina." And here's the thing - orange is the color of joy, but we don't feel joyful looking at that dress.
Anyways, all that matters is that the bride and groom are happy, and it does seem like both of them are into it, doesn't it? The groom, especially, seems to be super into it.
The Least Practical Wedding Dress in the History of Wedding Dresses
We look at some of the wedding dresses on this list and we genuinely have no idea what to say. We wish we could have a chat with the bride, or actually, we wish we could have a chat with the people who created some of these gowns, because we feel like it would be fascinating to hear them explain their creative process. Check out this wedding dress (?) for instance.
Wedding dresses aren't exactly known for being a comfortable piece of clothing, but this one just looks impossible. Can she even sit? Can she use her arms? Can she use the restroom by herself?
Didn't Cher Wear This Dress to the Met Gala Once?
When choosing their perfect wedding dress, many brides tend to go for classic designs, and they look for inspiration in women of timeless beauty and style such as Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, and Jackie O. And then, there are the brides who want to make a statement, and they wear something like this. We were confused by this design at first, but doesn't it remind you of something that Cher would wear on a red carpet?
Nothing against Cher, of course, the woman is a legend and a true style icon. It's just that it's unexpected to see Cher as an inspiration for a wedding dress, and it's also unexpected for guests to see so much of the bride.
A Moment of Silence for All Those Poor Peacocks
Designers often take inspiration from nature when they're creating something new, and they end up coming up with gorgeous items that are almost like an homage to our world's flora and fauna. Unfortunately, designers don't succeed every single time, and their final product might end up looking more like mockery. We can imagine the reaction from the poor peacocks whose colorful feathers were plucked for the making of this wedding dress.
We can almost hear them saying, "Seriously? Seriously, this is what you did with my feathers? Am I a joke to you? No, this is unacceptable, put them back, put those feathers back in my tail."
A Wedding Ensemble Worthy of Mama June and Sugar Bear
Even if you've never watched the reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, you're probably familiar with its characters, particularly Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson and her mother June "Mama June" Shannon, and you're aware that they have a, err, peculiar sense of style. Check out the outfits that Mama June and Sugar Bear wore to their wedding in 2013. It's camouflage and neon orange, and that's a color combo we had definitely never seen in a wedding.
Honey Boo Boo was also part of the celebration, of course, and her flower girl dress was also quite unique for the category - neon orange combined with neon pink, topped with a whole lot of beading.
Yeah, We're Gonna Go Ahead and Skip the Cake This Time
Some brides are willing to do anything to make their wedding day an unforgettable experience, and if we showed up to a wedding and saw the bride wearing this "dress," we surely would not forget that day - we would forever remember it as the first time we went to a wedding and we didn't have any wedding cake. Seriously though, what are people thinking? That poor woman's forearms are covered in icing.
We usually love wedding cake, but at this party, we would probably just stick to the chocolates, petit fours, cake-pops, cupcakes, fruit tarts, truffles, chocolate-covered strawberries... Sorry, what were we talking about?
There Are "revealing Dresses" and Then There's This
A person's wedding day is something they'll remember for the rest of their lives, so when it comes to attire, many people tend to go for the classics so they won't feel embarrassed looking at or showing the photos to family and friends in the future. We wonder how this bride will feel when she looks at this 50 years from now, and she tells her grandkids, "this is how nanna looked on her wedding day, doesn't she look pretty?"
We're unsure whether we can refer to this as an actual dress, since it looks more like a high-waisted skirt with no top, but we find it ironic that she chose to go for such a revealing style, but still wore long gloves to cover her arms.
This Bride Is Not "Kitten" Around with Her Cat-Themed Dress
It's tradition for brides to wear a white dress to their special day, but just because they're wearing a dress that's white like most brides do, it doesn't mean that their dress can't be unique, or memorable, and a true representation of who they are. This bride, for instance, is wearing white from head to toe, but her outfit is absolutely one of a kind because it is cat-themed.
That's right. There are sequin cats on the front and back of the dress, as well as on her tiara, because she wanted something different from the flowers and stars most brides go for. You do you, cat lady.
Please Welcome to the Dance Floor, Mr. And Mrs. Jellyfish
We wish we had more information about this dress right here, because it looks so interesting. It seems to be made from all sorts of materials that you don't usually see in a wedding dress. Paper? Plastic? Cellophane? And all that volume! We don't know why, but this makes us think of mysterious deep-sea creatures, like a giant jellyfish that's very wet, and yet at the same time, very flammable.
All that matters is that the couple is happy, though, and these two certainly seem to be in love. Let us welcome the newlyweds to the dance floor - Mr. and Mrs. Jellyfish!
Pretty in Pink Meets All Sorts of Chaos
We often hear the phrase "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," but if we were to follow this advice, this article would be just a long sequence of images, and that's not what we're getting paid to do. Good lord, where do we even start? This dress makes us think "Pretty in Pink," "Little Bo-Peep," and "My Fair Lady," all mashed into one, but not in a good way.
When one borrows from several different sources, they usually try to take the best from each reference, but whoever designed this dress didn't quite succeed in that particular mission.
Is the Bride Underdressed or Is Everyone Else Overdressed?
Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful for a bride, which is why when the big day comes, wedding planners and the bridal entourage tend to just agree with everything the bride says and wants, because all that matters is keeping her as happy and relaxed as possible - you don't want a bride to have a frown on in her wedding pictures, right? We can see how the conversations probably went during this particular wedding.
Bride: "Hey, do you think I should have worn a wedding dress instead of a wedding bikini? Am I underdressed?" Everyone else: "No no, darling, you are perfect. Everyone else is just overdressed."
When a designer runs out of fabric but they've got plenty of old newspapers
Fashion designers are always experimenting with new materials, which is great. It's through their constant experimentation that we discover fabrics that are longer-lasting, easier to work with, and better for the planet, so we praise their creativity and their constant search for the next big thing. However, their experimentation doesn't always lead to the best ideas. A wedding dress made entirely out of what seems to be old newspapers?
We don't even know that much about fashion, but we can tell that this is probably not a viable material for a dress. We have to admit though, the silhouette is pretty cool.
Pregnant and Proud Would Be a Good Name for a Reality Show
Nowadays, being a pregnant bride is not as big a deal as it used to be until a few decades ago, but it would be very naive of us to say that pregnant brides aren't judged by society at all. That's why many brides who find out they're expecting choose to try to conceal their bellies the best way they can, either with flowing gowns, or with huge bouquets that they can use to cover their bumps.
This bride is not afraid of the haters, though, and she's pregnant and proud. "Pregnant and Proud," by the way, would be a good name for a reality show about brides who are expecting. Hit us up, TLC!
Don't Look Directly at the Bride
When people see a beautiful bride all ready for her big day, they usually say something inspiring like "she looks like an angel," or "she looks like a princess." When people look at this particular bride, we can imagine them saying that "she looks like the sun," not because she gives us warmth and is essential for life on earth, but because looking directly at her can cause serious eye damage or blindness.
There's so much going on here, we don't know what to comment on first. The dress, the enormous necklace, the tall crown... And we don't understand what that is - is that a bouquet, or the world's largest brooch?
It's Not a Phase, Mom, This Is My Wedding Outfit
Do you ever look back at pictures of your younger self and cringe at how weird you used to look and how seriously you used to take yourself? Do you remember fighting with your parents when they told you to wear "normal" clothing, and how you used to say "It's not a phase, mom, this is who I really am"? How did that work out for you? We wonder how this young couple will feel when they look back at this picture many years from now.
They did make a statement with their outfits, though, and their choice of color is quite interesting. Usually, the groom wears a dark color and the bride wears white, but they went for the opposite here.
And the Bride Wore a White Barely-There See-Through Tulle Onesie
We are aware that this photo isn't from an actual wedding. Judging from the woman's pose, and her hair and make-up, we're guessing this is a model walking the runway during some sort of fashion show. And yes, we are aware that not everything that's shown at a fashion show makes it to the stores, but still, a designer puts on a fashion show to make people want to buy his / her products, no?
We wonder if there are any brides out there who would look at this barely-there see-through tulle onesie and think, "Wow, I really want this designer to make a wedding dress for me."
When the Veil Offers More Coverage Than the Dress
We're puzzled by the thought process of brides such as this one, who chose to wear a very un-modest outfit to their wedding day, but still cover their arms with long gloves. No one's gonna be staring at their forearms. This bride didn't even go for a wedding dress, choosing instead a wedding crop top and mini skirt set with plenty of bling, a statement garter, and is that an embroidered star covering her belly button?
We were confused by the white mass following her out of the limousine, but apparently, that's her wedding veil, which interestingly offers more coverage than the rest of her outfit.
When You Already Spent All Your Budget on Fancy Ice Sculptures
Surely that's not what really happened here, but we laughed out loud imagining that maybe the story behind this picture is that the couple miscalculated how much money they could use on their wedding, and they ended up spending their entire budget on their fancy ice sculptures. With no money for proper outfits, they took the lace that the bride had intended on turning into her veil, and they made their own attire.
There wasn't much fabric to work with, but they did their best, and all we have to add to this story is, thank goodness for the placement of that ice sculpture.
If the Words "too Much" Were a Wedding Dress
Some of the wedding dresses on this list have too little fabric, but some of them have way too much. Take this creation, for instance. This is one of the wedding dresses shown by the brand Viktor & Rolf at the Spring 2011 Paris Fashion Week, and it is the very definition of "too much." The dress is as wide as the catwalk, for crying out loud. We wonder how they even got the model in that thing.
She looks extremely uncomfortable, like she can't even move her arms. This actually reminds us of what cartoon characters look like after being hit by something large and heavy - squashed flat.
A Wedding Dress for a Fashion-Forward Lady
People would usually expect a bride from a noble family to wear a traditional wedding dress, but Lady Mary Charteris, from the Scottish noble Charteris family, clearly doesn't care about what people expect of her. For her wedding in 2012, she didn't go to Vera Wang, Oscar de la Renta, or any of those established designers adored by high society - she went to Pam Hogg, who's known for having dressed Lady Gaga on numerous occasions, and that says something.
We're thoroughly confused by the cutout satin panels, the sheer panel showing off her skin, and the layers of uneven tulle worn as a skirt - and is she wearing that necklace under the dress?
No Garter? No Problem - Shoelaces It Is
We're having a hard time believing this is an actual wedding dress that someone wore to their wedding day, but then again, it's not like any of the other dresses on this list look like regular wedding dresses, right? The only good thing we can say about this is that this bride stuck to the tradition of wearing a white dress, but that's pretty much all we can think of for now.
We do admire her confidence, though, and we love the fact that she seems to be digging her look. Also, she apparently didn't find a garter so she accessorized with shoelaces, and that's a woman who gets stuff done.
When You're Getting Married at 8 but You Need to Be at Burning Man at 9
If you could stop staring at the outfit of the woman on the left (that's barely an outfit anyways, it's just a hat, a skirt, and a pair of boots), we'd like to focus on the outfit of the woman on the right, who looks like she's going straight from her own wedding ceremony to the infamous Burning Man. She kept the top simple, but look at that skirt made out of disposable plastic spoons.
We wish we could have found this image in a better resolution, because we're very confused about what she is wearing on her head. Are those... baby chicks? Actually, maybe we don't want to find this in a better resolution.
Kiss From a Rose, or Kiss From an Onion?
We don't mean to offend the designer who created this piece, because this idea of a dress inspired by a beautiful flower is quite nice and well executed, but we just re-watched the Shrek movies, and all we can see now when we look at this picture is the onion carriage that Fiona and Shrek use to go on their honeymoon in the first film and then to travel to Far Far Away in the second film.
If you don't know what we're talking about, type "Shrek onion carriage" on your favorite search engine, but be warned - what has been seen can not be unseen.
Kid Rock and Pam Anderson in the Most Kid Rock and Pam Anderson Wedding Ever
Did you know that Kid Rock and Pam Anderson had a total of four wedding ceremonies in 2006? They first started dating in 2001, got engaged the following year, and split in 2003, but when they got back together in 2006, they went all in. They had four wedding ceremonies that year, but the only one people tend to remember is the first one, because it was so "Kid Rock and Pam Anderson."
They wed on a yacht in St. Tropez, France, and the bride didn't wear a dress, but she did wear white - a tiny white bikini, which left a lot of people speechless.
When a Bride Really, Really Wants to Be the Center of Attention
Many brides began dreaming about their special day when they were little girls, imagining what it would be like to wed the love of their life in a beautiful ceremony, with a flawless dress, and all eyes on them. Yes, some brides crave that attention, and they won't let anyone else steal their thunder. Even if that means wearing an outfit like this, which we have to guess weighs a couple of dozen pounds.
That's amazing intricate work, that's for sure, but this looks more like something a person would wear to a Mardi Gras parade, not to a wedding.
A Dress so Big, It Enforces Social Distancing
When English media personality Katie Price got married in 2005, she made a deal with a magazine, which covered the ceremony and essentially paid for the whole thing. She went all out, and spent around one million pounds - that's more than one million dollars - to get the wedding of her dreams. She looks happy, but many people looking at this photo now would laugh, because of how far the groom and the bride are standing from each other.
This is what happens when you wear a dress so big, your own husband can't get any closer than that to you. It almost looks like this is 2020 and they are practicing social distancing.
Who Wants to Buy a Questionable Wedding Dress for $215,000?
We get that people who have been dreaming about their perfect wedding their entire lives would want to have a say in the process, including the creation of the outfits they'll be wearing on their big day, but we get the feeling that maybe they should leave it to the pros. This woman says she "personally designed" this dress which was then made "by one of New York's upcoming designers" and she's not exactly being listed as Vogue's most fashionable brides of all time.
After the wedding she listed the dress for sale online for $215,000, and got dragged by people who called her "deluded" saying they couldn’t believe how much she was asking for it. "I don't think the word hideous actually fully portrays my feelings," one person said.
This Looks a Little Inappropriate
You may have noticed that most of the photos on this list weren't taken at church, and we think it makes sense. When people marry in a religious ceremony, they tend to stick to more traditional attire, and this is not a compilation of traditional attire. We were utterly confused by this image, because this seems like a very serious religious ceremony, and yet, the bride is wearing... that thing she's wearing.
We're not sure what faith this is, so maybe we're way out of line here and this is actually what women are expected to wear when they get married, but it looks a little inappropriate, no?
We're Gonna Go Ahead and Say It - This Dress Looks Like a Tampon
There's something about this image that just screams 1960s couture. We're pretty sure if we look this up online right now, we'll learn that this dress is from a haute couture collection from some fancy French maison, and it took months to finish, because there are only like six old ladies in the world who still master this particular knitting technique, and four of them lost their sight as they were working on this gown.
However, we have to admit something, because maybe you're thinking the same thing. This dress looks like a tampon. All it's missing is the string. There. We said it.
This Bride's About to Promise She "wool" Always Love Her Groom
So apparently the story behind this image is that this lady is an award-winning sheep breeder who loves her animals so much, when she got married she wanted to include them in the ceremony somehow. She designed her own wedding gown, and surprise surprise, the gown was made with wool. Not just any wool - the wool from her favorite sheep, Olivia - she's a Lincoln Longwool, a breed developed specifically to produce heavy, long, and lustrous fleece.
Those long white strands of wool on her dress are a bit atypical for wedding attire, but this is definitely not the most bizarre gown on this list. What made us chuckle is the fact that in this photo, it looks like the bride is marrying the sheep.
A Dress Made From the Most Precious Material of 2020
Wedding dresses are traditionally made with fabrics such as chiffon, organza, charmeuse, satin, lace, and tulle, because they are all delicate and graceful, both words usually associated with wedding dresses. They also look expensive, so they make any bride look like a million bucks. This dress right here is not made from any of those materials, but it does look precious, if you look at it in the context of what happened in 2020.
If you lived through The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020, you're aware that a dress like this would have been seen as the ultimate flex back then. In any other year, though? Not so much.
Our Heart Will Go on but That Dress Needs to Go Away
The 1980s is always the decade people like to mock because of its wacky fashion, but have you taken a good look at what people used to wear in the 1990s? Like, a really good look? If not, we recommend that you do, because it is a truly humbling experience. Start with the biggest celebrity weddings of the 1990s, and you'll understand where we're coming from. Case in point - Celine Dion.
Celine is a true diva, but some people will never get over her choice of wedding attire when she married the love of her life, Rene Angelil, in 1994. That's a lot of fabric, and that hair piece with 2000 Swarovski crystals? It weighed seven pounds and had to be sewn into her hair to stay in place.
When You Do a Throwback, but You Go Too Far Back
Some brides want to be fashionable and trendsetting, while others prefer to rely on the proven winners, looking at the most beautiful dresses from the past few decades in search of something that they can use now. Usually, when brides look for vintage silhouettes, they go for something from the 1950s or 1960s, which are references in bridal style. This bride, however, apparently was inspired by the 80s - the 1880s, that is.
We are not sure what's going on on the back of the dress, but this doesn't look like something people have worn in the last 100 years. If she wanted a vintage look, she got it - she looks extra vintage.
You Don't Wanna Hold This Bride Too Tightly
Ok, we are actually quite impressed that whoever designed this dress was able to create a pretty silhouette for it. We would have thought that a dress made out of balloons would look like, well, a giant balloon, and that's not the case here. That's some serious balloon modeling skills. Imagine the type of balloon animals this person can create! But anyways, we digress. What were we talking about?
Ah yes, the balloon dress. And the balloon flowers! This looks fun and quirky, but kinda dangerous, too. Anyone hugging the bride a little too tightly might cause a catastrophe, right?
This Wedding Dress Definitely Ruffled Some Feathers
This dress didn't look so bad when we first laid eyes on it. It's white. It's long. It seems to cover enough of her body that people wouldn't feel uncomfortable looking at her in church. But then we started noticing the details. What's up with the wings and the feathers? We wouldn't have anything against them if this was a costume of some sort. A cosplay, or maybe something she's wearing at Halloween.
They seem like an odd choice for a wedding though, and what about the white boots? Anyways, she looks happy with her look, and in the end, that's all that matters.
Why Do You Do This to Us, Fashion Designers?
We don't understand fashion shows. We thought the whole point of a fashion show was for designers to present the public with their main ideas for the season, and give a little preview on what customers can expect to see in the stores during the upcoming season. However, sometimes we look at pictures from fashion shows, and all we can think of is, "What the actual heck?" Seriously, designers, what are you doing?
We know some of the popular silhouettes for wedding dresses are mermaid, trumpet, ball gown, A-line, column, slip. What's this we're looking at right here? No idea. It's probably expensive, though.
An Expensive Dress We Wouldn't Want to Buy Even if We Could Afford It
This is one of those dresses that we know were probably created by a fancy French maison, and it represents this or that, and it was a shift in the way fashion was viewed and therefore it is iconic and revered by critics and stuff, but bottom line is, this is a wedding dress. Would you wear it? We wouldn't. This is an expensive dress we wouldn't want to buy even if we could afford it.
We can appreciate its design, and we're sure the craftsmanship is unparalleled, but it just looks so uncomfortable. Do those flower buds cover the entire back as well? Imagine sitting on those during toasts.
A Dress Inspired by Ivy Looks Exactly Like What You'd Think
Is this what Poison Ivy from the DC Comics would wear to her wedding day if she ever decided to ditch her regular green outfits for a traditional white gown? We all remember Uma Thurman looking amazing in green when she portrayed the character in the 1997 movie Batman & Robin, so we're not sure if that would be the best choice for her, but it's nice to have options, isn't it?
This dress actually doesn't look all that bad, especially compared to some of the other outfits on this list. We'd ditch the ivy bouquet, but something tells us that a bride wearing an ivy-inspired gown won't want to part with the ivy bouquet.
Blushing Bride or Flower Girl?
Everything about this picture screams "Expensive!" to us. Look at the details on the wall. That's some old money stuff right there. We can immediately tell when we don't belong somewhere, and we don't belong in this image. But let's focus on that wedding dress, shall we? This seems to be part of a fashion collection of some sort, and while we're sure this outfit is beautifully crafted, we're a bit confused by it.
Something about it says "flower girl" more than "blushing bride," and we think maybe this would be more appropriate if it came in children's sizes.
Ladies and Gentlemen, We Present You the Diaper Dress
We admire how crafty some people are. We all know that one person who is talented and resourceful, and when faced with a challenge, they quickly improvise, adapt, overcome. The designer behind this dress, for instance, apparently ran out of fabric when they were creating a wedding gown, but they didn't let it stop them. They used whatever they had at hand, and that “whatever” happened to be a bunch of diapers.
In reality, that's probably not what happened here. This seems to be part of a diaper commercial or something like that, which is good, because hopefully there aren't any designers out there who think they could sell a diaper dress.